Anchorman

I'm pretty sure that if I jump straight out and say I don't like Will Ferrell I will have to duck and hide as many devoted fans of his films come at me with pitchforks and fire. So if I explain myself: its not that I don't like him. I just don't find him particularly funny. I will watch films with him in it, but I often find myself laughing at things happening around him, not what he does. There are a few exceptions, but then again, these are a few.

Baring this in mind, Anchorman got stuck on and I rolled my eyes, expecting myself to be the only person not laughing at everything Will Ferrell did. There were moments where I did laugh, which surprised me when a majority were to do with Will. And the plot was not what I expected it to be, bringing in a a good political issue of feminism in the work place which was a brilliant match with the characters being portrayed within the film, especially within the field of Television. This is why with Will Ferrell I am hit and miss with him in his comedies; if the characters and plot work together then I think it works. There were moments of absolute stupidity but they managed to work, somehow, with the direction of the story which often can be the killer in comedies. So to sum up, it depends on how much silliness you can take, or whether you really like Will Ferrell's acting style.

Tucker and Dale vs. Evil

I am a fan of the ridiculous horror films, even the crazy stoner films which the best critics rate 1 star out of 5 I  will choose over a big period drama or action film. Tucker and Dale reminds me of the classic horror film cliche, but someone stuck two fingers (or even the middle finger) up at genre convention and said they wanted to do something different. This is where horror and comedy are PERFECT.

Tucker and Dale follows the basic horror movie plot:

• You got your creepy dudes. In this case Tucker and Dale
• You got the stupid teenagers going on a camping trip. Oh and of course the camping trip has a scary horror campfire story behind it. And of course the creepiest teenager is the one to tell the story.
• Skimpy girls who figured out that shorts and a revealing top cover underwear. So boobs cleavage.
• Gore. Beautiful, beautiful gore.

But the film takes these basic points and twists them so that whoever is evil, is actually not so evil. You end up cheering for our loveable hill billies Tucker and Dale, the misunderstood heroes of the story and one by one you sigh and scream and the frustration you feel for the annoying teenagers that definitely think they are the main characters of this horror movie but only own about 1 brain cell between the lot of them, resulting in hilarity, confusion and a whole lot of hilarious death scenes. I won't give it away, but a board with broken nails, a woodchipper, and a whole lot of bees. Someone is bound to die in a hilarious or stupid way.

I highly recommend this to anyone, horror fan, comedy fan or even just basic fan of any films or looking for something entertaining to watch for the evening. It's a film you can pull out at any movie night which anyone would be intrigued to watch or even watch again and again. It's one of those films that should be a timeless classic, but without a doubt the best comedy I have watched in recent years.

Truth or Die (Dare)

My friend Robin and I have interesting film choices. We often have movie nights with films that no one has heard of or quirky film choices. I strong choice of ours is small budget horror films with plenty of gore in it. After watching the infamous Serbian Film I have been on the hunt for more.

Strolling youtube trailers I came across Truth or Die, which, it would seem is a horror film based around the popular party game. Being a horror movie it needs to be full of skimpy girls and a gory tale with a twist at the end (admit it, all good horror films need a twist, especially the British ones).

At first I expected the film to be rubbish, slow and boring. But was taken aback by the stylized used of the camera. Slow motion and speed up moments to match with the mood of drinking on a night out of partying. This would have been more believable though if the students didn't go from drunk to sober in one sentence. The film then becomes boring the second the first game sets in, with the cliche hint of "revenge" being the sole plot device of the film.

One thing I find hard to get around is the idea that the game being used is Truth or Dare in the form of spin the bottle to select victims. The last time I played this game I was 16 maybe 17. The game in the film is being played by a group of people who are supposed to be around the same age but who actually look like they are in their late 20s. I thought this was a cliche of American films but was shocked that the same thing happened with a British film. They need to take a note out of The Tormented which cast those in their early twenties as GCSE students. That was almost believable.

But the film soon disappointed me with taking nearly forever to get the rest of the plot going. But the typical horror movie rules were broken as usual because people in these films are just the stupidest on the planet. After years of being a horror film nut I find the people in these films more annoying at times than those off TOWIE, and these guys were no exception. Who the hell goes to the party of some guy they haven't seen in months who they met only ONCE and to the middle of nowhere for that matter?? Then doesn't question the motives when they are the only ones to turn up and the birthday boy is nowhere to be seen? Oh wait there's free booze from a guy who is slightly attractive. That must make it okay then. The game itself is boring and slow but the twist in the end somewhat near end is enough to satisfy me after waiting around for some excitement. At first the twist in the film was a surprise to me but after seeing the evidence and re-watching the events that happened earlier on in the film I was surprised I hadn't pieced it together in the first place.

All in all, a film that was different but still a cliche horror film. Slightly more twisted for being a British film but centred around a childhood game, even better. Overall a good watch but still slightly disappointing in my books.

A Quick Hello. And the first review

A New Start. On my placement I have had a bit of time to watch some films for reference and analysis. This has led me to revamp this "blog" into a chance to review these films, and use my analytical brain to write up a few bits and bobs and write up film reviews. I think the rules as follows are:

• I will be blunt. This is film is good. This film was a pile of wank.
• I will review what I watch based on plot, character, and adding in the film analysis of mise-en-scene, editing, continuity and more.
• I will look into the background of films. True stories will have to watch out for factual errors, and remakes or revamps will watch out for differences in story and how rubbish they make the reboot (I'm sorry Total Recall).

So Hello. Welcome. Let's Begin.

Twilight Saga.

The reason I start on Twilight is simply because it should be like a disney film. First things first, Disney gives many little girls false expectations of how to win the heart of prince charming and how he will treat you. Good looks and being a princess is one thing, but the prince is rich too? I suppose that's the Disney code.But Twilight isn't like that in the sense of rich characters, rich being money rich of course.

For starters. It is based on a book. A book written from the point of view of a teenage girl. That's enough to get the attention of nearly every, um, teenage girl. Now the film puts in an actress who is edgy somewhat emotionless actress. In fact I wasn't aware that she was actually in love with this Edward guy until she did her inner monologue stating how much she was in love with upon discovering his vampire state. Now, I should have disclosed spoilers at this point, but I think 4 books and 5 films have pretty much justified what this love story is about.

Rather than punish myself completely I decided to go forth to watch the films. I got halfway through the 3rd one when I was crying blood to make the pain stop. Seeing the 2nd one with the ex and not being able to hear the film because of screaming fans wearing Edward and Jacob masks was not a walk in the park either. It did give me the chance to see the film visually. Yes, there are topless men. No, I was not aroused. No, I am not gay. I just prefer to not watch a story where the main characters hardest choice in life is to choose between Bestiality and Necrophilia. And I'm a True Blood fan. I just can't stand these films.

I also got the hint of a violent relationship somewhere here. The guy makes her fall in love with her. Then to "protect her" dumps her and then leaves her. No contact ever again. What a douche. She then goes through this mode of depression (which was actually followed by a beautiful sequence of rotation while making me dizzy also portrayed the seasons going by as she sat and waited for Edward to return). I think she would have done better with a tub of ice cream than staring out the window watching the leaves fall. She then goes on the rebound with another guy, as you do teen girls TAKE NOTE. But not being able to get over her ex throws herself off a cliff. Logical. If I wanted to see mine again I'd rather see him under the tyre of my car if he had just dumped me for no reason but that's another story. Where was I? Oh the violence. SPOILER. First time is a bit extreme. Yes. But when you are left with bruises and a ripped pillow and broken bed you have to think for a moment is it Vampire super strength or a complete nutcase? Jacob is the same. Get him angry, he will lash out and hurt you. Hmmmm. But yet teen girls swoon over this? Dangerous? Or just completely stupid and promoting love within a possibly volatile relationship, but I suppose it's okay because he's a mother-effing WEREWORLF or VAMPIRE.

Conclusion. Fans ruin this with their obssession. Not as bad as Harry Potter I suppose which has a sense of real threat and end of the wizarding world, but with Twilight Saga I get the sense that this love story is still a false expectation of true love for young girls, with it's supernatural love and angry men and happy ever after at the end. But there is no point trying to convince young girls that what they are watching is some of the worst pieces of cinema possibly ever witnesses and is massively over hyped. Lets just see where the next fad takes us.

My Top Tips to Survive Woking

Yes, a funny one. But i felt like I needed this survival guide for the future generatio. Maybe I'll print this out and leave them scattered in bars, pubs and schools and clubs to see what will happen.

1. Do NOT go clubbing in Woking. Unless it's your first time. Go for one night and then never return, the chavs get let out once a week on "student night" and use it as an excuse to be wasted and start fights and try and have sex with the girl with her bum cheeks hanging out her skirt. If you do go clubbing, highly recommend Schism Rock Club. Or Bed Bar. No one ever goes to Bed... but its cheap drinks and free entry often. Quieter too, perfect for a massive group of mates.
2. At night don't go alone. Chavs and just vile people roam the streets. Have at least one other person with you, engage in conversation whenever outside, and only go alone if inside where security are located.
3. School girls say the stupidest things. yes we were all young once but the stuff they say sounds like a comedy sketch show for our generation. The amount of times I hear a 14 year old dare her friend to ask out some guy she doesn't even know by simply stating "YOLO" is laughable and sad. Whenever school girls are around, eavesdrop. It'll either make you cringe, or die laughing.
4. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS IMPORTANT carry protection. This time it's about condoms. I cannot stress the amount of babies born to my generation within the first year of leaving GCSE. We get free sex ed AND I did child development/childcare. The first part of the exam was "sex and protection". Lets just say a huge number failed that part....
5. And finally, just stay out of Woking. I stay for my friends and family, but we all want to leave. So much.

Been A While

It has been a while. But let me start with saying everyone needs to go to Slovenia. It is amazing. And a European music festival. So much better than any British festival, and that is not because of the cheap alcohol!

The reason for my absence is that I am currently moving to the otherside of the the UK. From London area (uuurgghhhh) to Plymouth! Reason? I am moving there because of:

• Placement Year. As part of my degree I have to do a placement year which counts towards my degree. So I will be working with a small company for the next 30ish weeks doing filming and editing and generally getting some work experience.
• The plus side: going to be living near the boyfriend, as he lives in Plymouth doing his degree down there, and entering into his final year. So this should be fun!
• Its Plymouth. Its far away from London. Ha.

So my blog could consist of what I'm allowed to talk about. That's right, I can't talk about everything. Maybe I will get bored one night like I have right now and will talk about things that "Grind My Gears" in the almighty words of Peter Griffen.

Watch this space!

Tattoos are not evil.

While I do not have tattoos myself, I plan on the possibility of one in future. I am fascinated with them. I think it is an extension of art. The one thing i cannot stand in the media at the moment is the idea going around that once that tattoo is on your skin you are some sort of scum. I was walking down the street and saw a guy covered in tattoos. A woman walking by clung to her purse tightly and narrowly avoided him, in clear sight of the man who simply looked at her really confused. He walked into the charity shop opposite the road. Turned out he owned the shop. The woman stared for ages at the realization of her slightly judgmental action, shrugged it off and continued walking.

I read another damn annoying article. Brenda Song and Trace Cyrus call of engagement. Trace is covered in tattoos, Brenda is not. The comments ranged from "urrrrr gross" to "she had a lucky escape". What do these people think? I get the assumption that they think all people with tattoos are drug addicts in gags who are violent all the time. But they are not. All the people i know with tattoos are pretty much the nicest people I will ever meet in my life. David Beckham is covered in tattoos, yet he is idolized and loved by many women in the world and is a respected man of society, whereas a singer in a band just has to be a drug junky who likes beating people up.

This brings me to my final example. I was in a queue at a shopping centre. I saw a woman walk in covered in tattoos. A mother pulled her child to the side and said, "luckily you have morals. People like them are horrible and nasty. Don't be hanging around with them". The woman heard it clearly (i think the mother wanted to be heard). The woman turned around, pulled about £30 from her pocket and gave it to the kid and said "Parents aren't always right" and walked off.

I pray people stop judging books by their covers soon.