Why I Won't Review The One Direction Movie.

Because I said NO.

It's nothing to do with the fact I hate their music, or the fact they got famous for auditioning for a reality tv "talent" show. It's the simple fact that I know I won't like it, so my review will be completely biased of my hatred towards them and their music and their annoying psycho fanbase (incoming death threats).

So no. Just NO.

"Holy Miscast Batman!"

Firstly apologies for the lack of posts. I have been somewhat busy with writers block and taking time off to do the festival summer season, the weather must have something to do with it.

But I had to get in on this turn of events which is the announcement of Ben Affleck being cast as Batman for the upcoming 2015 film Superman and Batman film. Now as a popular fan of Christopher Nolan's Batman trilogy with Christian Bale as Batman/Bruce Wayne. At first my emotions went like this:

1. Denial. I thought it was a joke. Not on the lines of Half Life 3 confirmed joke, but a troll none the less.
2. Anger. Remembering that goddamn film where he played opposite one time lover J-Lo. I am so annoyed at this film I can't even bare to mention the actual film name. Oh and Daredevil. No one can forgive him for Daredevil.
3. Confusion. Who was he up against? Who else auditioned or was considered for the part that made him number one choice above all?
4. (Slight) Acceptance. Decided to accept that the backlash would probably do nothing to sway the mighty had of the director's choice and just deal with it.

Now the reason I accepted this is because of something interesting I came across one night while pondering these many thoughts between my gaming breaks. There have been many, many actors and actresses cast in roles before that have always been thought of as bad, terrible for the part but then are either proven wrong or get replaced at last minute before filming can progress too far. Examples you ask?

1. Harry Potter. The role of the loveable boy wizard originally went to Hayley "I see Dead People" Joel Osment. J.K Rowling was so angry at this casting of a american in a british role she threatened to have nothing to do with the films. Luckily, they listened and Daniel Radcliffe was cast.
2. Aragorn. Yep, originally Stuart Townsend of League of Extraordinary Gentleman fame was a member of the famous fellowship of the ring. Until Peter Jackson realized that someone who was supposed to play an 87 year old Gondor King needed to look a bit older and rougher and tougher. So just in time Viggo Mortensen took his place.
3. Marty McFly. The role of the unlucky time traveller originally was in the hands of Eric Stoltz. After realizing that he was the missing comedy timing that the director was looking for, he was replaced with Michael J. Fox.

The list could go on but these for me are the popular choices.

Then I remembered a recent event which was similar to this situation. An actor cast in a role which people are unsure of. Peter Capaldi as the Doctor in Doctor Who. Now this ranged from "oh my god perfect" to "ew he's too old". I should note that any real fan of Doctor Who would know that the Doctor has been played by many older men in the past. It's what the role is about, a British white male in the role everytime. Not in a racist way, but seriously people are asking for a woman Doctor too. It is annoying. So as you can imagine the majority of the internet judged this casting. But the majority was "I'm going to see how this plays out". He doesn't take over the role until December of this year. I for one, think he was a good choice, and can't wait to see what he is like. Every Doctor is different after all.

And now for my final example of the evening. I present Heath Ledger. The Joker. He was cast as the infamous villain opposite Christian Bale's Batman in The Dark Knight. Now I shall ignore the fact that this was the last completed role before he sadly passed away, and go back to when he was cast. When it was announced that the man that once played Patrick Verona in the popular romcom 10 Things I Hate About You, the internet went crazy. Similar to the reaction that people are having now to Ben Affleck. They hated it. Many people said he should "stick to being a gay cowboy". Now I found it interesting that many people hated the fact that a "gay cowboy" was taking the Joker's shoes, especially as this role as a gay cowboy won Heath Ledger multiple awards and nominations for BEST Actor. I assume many didn't think he was capable of playing such a crazy character such as the Joker. All I can say is that Heath Ledger did an amazing performance which disproved most critics, and went on to posthumously win the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor. I should also point out that for this role, he won over 30 awards for his role as The Joker. In the acting world, that is HUGE. Especially at awards season, and especially for that fact he played a Supporting Character; A Villain.

So now I say Keep Calm, and hide in the Batcave. At least until 2015. When Superman and Batman finally meet on the big screen. I just hope there hasn't been a big mistake with Ben Affleck stepping into the Batmobile. Gobble, gobble.

Love Actually, Chalet Girl and the Rom-Com

As a girl, I should like Romantic Comedies, also known as the dreaded Rom-Com. Now, for as long as I can remember my teens were spent being the anti-girl. A tomboy. I avoided them like the plague and to this day am skeptical of them to this day. Sitting in film class in college and listening to everyone's favourite films and listening to the girls name anything from "Mean Girls" to "House Bunny" was enough to make me cringe. But that doesn't mean I can't like a good film.

Flashback to Xmas time 2005. Young teen me feeling down, a tad bit of teenage depression (waiting for the moment where my friend Simon mentions my "little emo phase" I love hearing about so much) and my dad asks if I want to watch a film. After years of being shown epics such as Shawshank Redemption and The Crow I was expecting something along the same lines. My dad puts on Love Actually. I fell in love with this romantic comedy. It had everything that made me love a good British film. Perfect cast, amazing jokes and brilliant storylines. And most importantly, it was all about love. Instead of following some dumbstruck girl falling for the guy she shouldn't do and a long agonizing hour and half of "will they won't they but they definitely will because its a girls film" cliche, we had different stories of love, loss and rejection. And most importantly of all. Family. And it was the best. My dad and I still watch it nearly every year and I do find myself crying with not just laughter but with happiness.

Flash back to the present day. A screenwriter came to my University and talked about a film he had written the screenplay for. He explained how he had a vision of the story and how it would look on screen only for it to go through tons of rewrites and changes, both in writing and on screen. He said this was normal for a screenwriter getting their story on screen. It made me realize a lot more about the process that goes into each film and the hard work it gets to make it just right that everyone can agree on one final piece.

The film he wrote was Chalet Girl. I looked at it thinking "oh god another one of those boy meets girl cliches" but decided to put my trust in it, like I did with Love Actually, and gave it a watch. First looked at the cast. If it was not for a few tweeks *cough* Ed Westwick *cough* it was almost perfect. Main girl was a girl who I didn't know the name of instead of another Jennifer Aniston role, and the two dads were Bill Nighy and Bill Bailey. Even Brooke Shields as the disproving mother made the cast one of the best in a rom-com I had seen for a long time. Everyone suited their roles perfectly, even the Ed Westwick nice rich boy but slightly douchebag role fitted him well. In a nice way, I don't think anyone else would have pulled it off.

The plot seemed less cliche than most, gave the characters more of a background to go with. Made them seem a lot more human and you could really connect more because of that. The exciting atmosphere of a snowy landscape was a better and more interesting change to possibly the scene of sunny LA or sunny anywhere or the big inner city. The plot went well up until I started guessing everything, as I do with most rom-coms, but there were enough comedy twists involving the ensemble cast that it kept it fun and more interesting as the film went on. I did not like the ending, cliche girl and boy get what they want and everyone is happy, blah blah blah. But overall the film itself was more enjoyable than most, and was definitely one of the better rom-coms out there. I don't know why, but I have a sneaky suspicious this is due to it being a British rom-com. American rom-coms seem to stick to the same boring template, whereas British writing always seems to expand and create something within the template and make it something original on its own.

Anchorman

I'm pretty sure that if I jump straight out and say I don't like Will Ferrell I will have to duck and hide as many devoted fans of his films come at me with pitchforks and fire. So if I explain myself: its not that I don't like him. I just don't find him particularly funny. I will watch films with him in it, but I often find myself laughing at things happening around him, not what he does. There are a few exceptions, but then again, these are a few.

Baring this in mind, Anchorman got stuck on and I rolled my eyes, expecting myself to be the only person not laughing at everything Will Ferrell did. There were moments where I did laugh, which surprised me when a majority were to do with Will. And the plot was not what I expected it to be, bringing in a a good political issue of feminism in the work place which was a brilliant match with the characters being portrayed within the film, especially within the field of Television. This is why with Will Ferrell I am hit and miss with him in his comedies; if the characters and plot work together then I think it works. There were moments of absolute stupidity but they managed to work, somehow, with the direction of the story which often can be the killer in comedies. So to sum up, it depends on how much silliness you can take, or whether you really like Will Ferrell's acting style.

Tucker and Dale vs. Evil

I am a fan of the ridiculous horror films, even the crazy stoner films which the best critics rate 1 star out of 5 I  will choose over a big period drama or action film. Tucker and Dale reminds me of the classic horror film cliche, but someone stuck two fingers (or even the middle finger) up at genre convention and said they wanted to do something different. This is where horror and comedy are PERFECT.

Tucker and Dale follows the basic horror movie plot:

• You got your creepy dudes. In this case Tucker and Dale
• You got the stupid teenagers going on a camping trip. Oh and of course the camping trip has a scary horror campfire story behind it. And of course the creepiest teenager is the one to tell the story.
• Skimpy girls who figured out that shorts and a revealing top cover underwear. So boobs cleavage.
• Gore. Beautiful, beautiful gore.

But the film takes these basic points and twists them so that whoever is evil, is actually not so evil. You end up cheering for our loveable hill billies Tucker and Dale, the misunderstood heroes of the story and one by one you sigh and scream and the frustration you feel for the annoying teenagers that definitely think they are the main characters of this horror movie but only own about 1 brain cell between the lot of them, resulting in hilarity, confusion and a whole lot of hilarious death scenes. I won't give it away, but a board with broken nails, a woodchipper, and a whole lot of bees. Someone is bound to die in a hilarious or stupid way.

I highly recommend this to anyone, horror fan, comedy fan or even just basic fan of any films or looking for something entertaining to watch for the evening. It's a film you can pull out at any movie night which anyone would be intrigued to watch or even watch again and again. It's one of those films that should be a timeless classic, but without a doubt the best comedy I have watched in recent years.

Truth or Die (Dare)

My friend Robin and I have interesting film choices. We often have movie nights with films that no one has heard of or quirky film choices. I strong choice of ours is small budget horror films with plenty of gore in it. After watching the infamous Serbian Film I have been on the hunt for more.

Strolling youtube trailers I came across Truth or Die, which, it would seem is a horror film based around the popular party game. Being a horror movie it needs to be full of skimpy girls and a gory tale with a twist at the end (admit it, all good horror films need a twist, especially the British ones).

At first I expected the film to be rubbish, slow and boring. But was taken aback by the stylized used of the camera. Slow motion and speed up moments to match with the mood of drinking on a night out of partying. This would have been more believable though if the students didn't go from drunk to sober in one sentence. The film then becomes boring the second the first game sets in, with the cliche hint of "revenge" being the sole plot device of the film.

One thing I find hard to get around is the idea that the game being used is Truth or Dare in the form of spin the bottle to select victims. The last time I played this game I was 16 maybe 17. The game in the film is being played by a group of people who are supposed to be around the same age but who actually look like they are in their late 20s. I thought this was a cliche of American films but was shocked that the same thing happened with a British film. They need to take a note out of The Tormented which cast those in their early twenties as GCSE students. That was almost believable.

But the film soon disappointed me with taking nearly forever to get the rest of the plot going. But the typical horror movie rules were broken as usual because people in these films are just the stupidest on the planet. After years of being a horror film nut I find the people in these films more annoying at times than those off TOWIE, and these guys were no exception. Who the hell goes to the party of some guy they haven't seen in months who they met only ONCE and to the middle of nowhere for that matter?? Then doesn't question the motives when they are the only ones to turn up and the birthday boy is nowhere to be seen? Oh wait there's free booze from a guy who is slightly attractive. That must make it okay then. The game itself is boring and slow but the twist in the end somewhat near end is enough to satisfy me after waiting around for some excitement. At first the twist in the film was a surprise to me but after seeing the evidence and re-watching the events that happened earlier on in the film I was surprised I hadn't pieced it together in the first place.

All in all, a film that was different but still a cliche horror film. Slightly more twisted for being a British film but centred around a childhood game, even better. Overall a good watch but still slightly disappointing in my books.

A Quick Hello. And the first review

A New Start. On my placement I have had a bit of time to watch some films for reference and analysis. This has led me to revamp this "blog" into a chance to review these films, and use my analytical brain to write up a few bits and bobs and write up film reviews. I think the rules as follows are:

• I will be blunt. This is film is good. This film was a pile of wank.
• I will review what I watch based on plot, character, and adding in the film analysis of mise-en-scene, editing, continuity and more.
• I will look into the background of films. True stories will have to watch out for factual errors, and remakes or revamps will watch out for differences in story and how rubbish they make the reboot (I'm sorry Total Recall).

So Hello. Welcome. Let's Begin.

Twilight Saga.

The reason I start on Twilight is simply because it should be like a disney film. First things first, Disney gives many little girls false expectations of how to win the heart of prince charming and how he will treat you. Good looks and being a princess is one thing, but the prince is rich too? I suppose that's the Disney code.But Twilight isn't like that in the sense of rich characters, rich being money rich of course.

For starters. It is based on a book. A book written from the point of view of a teenage girl. That's enough to get the attention of nearly every, um, teenage girl. Now the film puts in an actress who is edgy somewhat emotionless actress. In fact I wasn't aware that she was actually in love with this Edward guy until she did her inner monologue stating how much she was in love with upon discovering his vampire state. Now, I should have disclosed spoilers at this point, but I think 4 books and 5 films have pretty much justified what this love story is about.

Rather than punish myself completely I decided to go forth to watch the films. I got halfway through the 3rd one when I was crying blood to make the pain stop. Seeing the 2nd one with the ex and not being able to hear the film because of screaming fans wearing Edward and Jacob masks was not a walk in the park either. It did give me the chance to see the film visually. Yes, there are topless men. No, I was not aroused. No, I am not gay. I just prefer to not watch a story where the main characters hardest choice in life is to choose between Bestiality and Necrophilia. And I'm a True Blood fan. I just can't stand these films.

I also got the hint of a violent relationship somewhere here. The guy makes her fall in love with her. Then to "protect her" dumps her and then leaves her. No contact ever again. What a douche. She then goes through this mode of depression (which was actually followed by a beautiful sequence of rotation while making me dizzy also portrayed the seasons going by as she sat and waited for Edward to return). I think she would have done better with a tub of ice cream than staring out the window watching the leaves fall. She then goes on the rebound with another guy, as you do teen girls TAKE NOTE. But not being able to get over her ex throws herself off a cliff. Logical. If I wanted to see mine again I'd rather see him under the tyre of my car if he had just dumped me for no reason but that's another story. Where was I? Oh the violence. SPOILER. First time is a bit extreme. Yes. But when you are left with bruises and a ripped pillow and broken bed you have to think for a moment is it Vampire super strength or a complete nutcase? Jacob is the same. Get him angry, he will lash out and hurt you. Hmmmm. But yet teen girls swoon over this? Dangerous? Or just completely stupid and promoting love within a possibly volatile relationship, but I suppose it's okay because he's a mother-effing WEREWORLF or VAMPIRE.

Conclusion. Fans ruin this with their obssession. Not as bad as Harry Potter I suppose which has a sense of real threat and end of the wizarding world, but with Twilight Saga I get the sense that this love story is still a false expectation of true love for young girls, with it's supernatural love and angry men and happy ever after at the end. But there is no point trying to convince young girls that what they are watching is some of the worst pieces of cinema possibly ever witnesses and is massively over hyped. Lets just see where the next fad takes us.